Showing Respect - As Simple as Telling People What Impact They've Had On You!
Someone once asked Will Rogers what his definition of a gentleman was.
He said, "It could be some highbrow millionaire - or a Cherokee Indian. But it's someone who shows great caring for other people."
"Respect" is the Willingness to Show Consideration for Others.
The simplest and most important way you communicate respect is with genuine expressions of caring. On a practical, daily basis that means to as great a degree as possible make people a part of decisions that have an impact on their lives so they feel consensus rather than control.
Of course, every business has to control its assets, including its human assets. Your business is liable - and appropriate control goes with responsibility. What we're talking about is when things cross the line from appropriate control - which every business must have - to inappropriately controlling behavior that leaves people feeling disrespected.
Communicating respect doesn't cost money but takes time and caring, two things that too easily gets lost in the daily rush of business.
I've asked thousands of business people nationwide the question,
"How do you feel your personality changes working under pressure?"
The answers are consistent. Tighter in the gut. More irritable. More self-absorbed. Able to focus on fewer things. Sense of Humor goes. Stressed out.
These emotions are exactly the opposite of what we usually think of as expressions of respect. This may be one reason studies consistently find a gap between what management thinks they're putting out regarding respect and motivating employees - and how workers perceives management respecting them.
Effectively communicating respect means actively bridging the gap, because people feel respected where there's dialog and feel their input counts, disrespected when it's felt you have to take someone on their own terms.
The simplest ways to motivate employees in the workplace and keep your staff motivation high is to tell them what impact they've had on you. Remind them of something they said or did you never forgot. Make it specific, personalize it by using their name, and most importantly mean it. Your own sincerity is always your greatest asset for being heard.
Rapport building questions are another easy way to motivate people with non-monetary rewards that don't cost a penny. Good questions are the most powerful tools you have for establishing genuine rapport. Ask questions that get at perception clarification and show people their input counts.
Rapport building questions can be as simple as:
Is there anything I could be doing that would make your job easier?
Is there anything you'd like me to be doing more or less of?
Or simply ask the question,
Is everything OK?
Actively communicating respect includes respect for diverse viewpoints:
What does this look like to you?
Does that ring true with you?
I'd like to get your ideas about something.
Performance begins with expectations. Use simple questions that get at perception clarification and give people a voice so they feel consensus rather than control.
What do you feel it takes to be successful here?
The seeds of employees feeling disrespected and demotivated in the workplace often lay in unrealistic expectations. The "I wasn't hired to do this" attitude. Find out if expectations are over inflated and reality down here by asking questions that begin:
What are your expectations regarding... ?
What's your understanding of... ?
Most jobs are more a perception of performance than a tangible thing. Too often, our attention's centered on tasks rather than the person doing them. Ask questions that get at people's buy-in to know how to motivate people the most.
How would you like to see yourself growing in the short term and long term?
What are you looking forward to?
Have you ever had to quit a job because of a bad boss?
Negativity is a contagious emotion that feeds on itself. To me abusive people are like cannibals. It feels like they're eating me up emotionally to feed their own lack of well being.
To counter negativity in the workplace try to communicate clearly what it is you feel you would like respected. Most people don't think of themselves as being disrespectful. If you can preface that you are asking for respect for whatever you feel you need you'll usually stand the best chance of being heard.
The most important reason you treat people with respect is that's how you earn and keep their trust. Trust and sincerity are your greatest assets in establishing genuine rapport. It's something people carry from inside your organization to your customers clients and vendors.
